Patriot Brief
What Happened:A raccoon broke into an ABC liquor store in Ashland, VA, ransacked the aisles, and passed out in the bathroom after drinking.
Why It Matters:Animal control safely removed the raccoon, gave him time to sober up, and confirmed he wasn’t injured.
Bottom Line:The raccoon was released back into the wild after his “poor life choices,” ending one of the most unusual break-ins of the year.
A raccoon in Ashland, Virginia, is recovering from what appears to be one unforgettable bender after breaking into an ABC liquor store, ransacking the place, and passing out in the bathroom.
Hanover County Animal Protection says the furry culprit managed to sneak inside the store, knock things over, and help himself to… something strong. By the time officers arrived, the “masked bandit” was found unconscious beside the toilet, sleeping off what looked like the hangover of the century.
“Officer Martin safely secured our masked bandit and transported him back to the shelter to sober up before questioning,” the department said in a statement.
After several hours of sleep — and, according to officials, no injuries beyond a probable headache and a few questionable decisions — the raccoon was released back into the wild.
Authorities say they hope he learned his lesson: breaking and entering is not the answer, and liquor stores are not raccoon-friendly nightlife venues.
Local residents, unsurprisingly, have taken to social media to declare the raccoon a legend.
